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Nobody Wants To Be You

by Tomás Ford

supported by
Jonathan berube
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Stephen Abblitt
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Mel Caceres
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Limbogott
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davrn
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ktracy
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muttonshunter
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Pressed CD in jewel case with 3 page fold out colour inlay. Also includes immediate download of 11 track album in your choice of digital format.
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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Electricity Solo 03:30
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The electricity coils zap blue every time a droplet of moisture hits There's mist Mist is gallons of water suspended across cubic meters The zap is a constant crackle Constant electric blue It's not an ugly colour But it's too close: The stobing pole would hit my house wires zapping, electrifying the tin roof and therefore everything else. I stop leaning against the flyscreen. There's no way I could take that amount of electricity. The moisture makes my skin clammy gallons of water suspended constant electric mist conducts electricity zap crackle I should call Western Power. Going in for a closer look, The hairs on my arm stand on end I'm sure if I was five years old and living at home, Dad would tell me this is normal in mist If I was living at home these days Dad would probably expect me to have grown out of this by now Dad probably does expect I've grown out of this by now Western Power Hotline: Freecall 1800 622 008 * Faulty street lights * Termite damage to power poles Nothing about constant electric blue. Dad would tell me this is normal. But would he then hold my hand a little tighter And walk a little faster? There's mist If I called Western Power they would tell me this is normal in mist The hairs on my arm stand on end when I get near it I should call Western Power I don't want to die a freak death 1800 622 008 They send someone out to tell me this is normal in a fatherly tone.
2.
White Haze 04:08
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Smell steaming karri leaves Lost by lonely trees Forest never grieves Feel no flames licking here No pain could get near Just glowing white air White haze surrounding me And it's affecting me A tranquility Someone's burning off the scrub Someone's making sure it's safe Someone's whiting out the fear Someone's letting me breathe clear Psychopath sedated But functionally Reassuringly Float, smother the tension Clear dangerous objects My dangerous subjects White haze surrounding me And it's affecting me A tranquility Someone's burning off the scrub Someone's making sure it's safe Someone's whiting out the fear Someone's letting me breathe clear Someone's burning off the scrub Someone's making sure it's safe Someone's whiting out the fear Someone's letting me breathe clear Someone's burning off the scrub Someone's making sure it's safe Someone's whiting out the fear Someone's letting me breathe clear ...So clear
3.
Letters Of Complaint 05:07
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1:30: a woman shoots her husband 2:15: the police arrive 3:30: they find a corpse laid on the couch and take their leave at 3:35 5:30: the sun is nearly rising by 6 it's risen and it's overhead beneath it, suburbs become your cancer expanding, wasted and dead why don't you kill yourself and all your childeren? if you don't do it, who will then? why don't you kill yourself and do it in style? everybody wants to see a corpse with a smile! you have a mandate out by the river, a five story penis fucking the sky from below the pavement is cracking under vacuous teenagers losers with nowhere to go up in your nest, you're the lord mayor of all you survey and half of that is on fire screw them all over, go somewhere with taste let's face it, the revenue has gotta be higher why don't you kill yourself and all your childeren? if you don't do it, who will then? why don't you kill yourself and do it in style? everybody wants to see a corpse with a smile! you have a mandate do magic baby! do your magic!! hour by hour, your arteries are hardening your dentist says your brushing technique is bad today tonight keeps telling you your hair product will kill you run around the corner! mutilate your dad! all your children! why don't you kill yourself and all your childeren? if you don't do it, who will then? why don't you kill yourself and do it in style? everybody wants to see a corpse with a smile! you have a mandate why don't you kill yourself and all your childeren? if you don't do it, who will then? (you have a mandate) why don't you kill yourself and do it in style? (oh-oh) everybody wants to see a corpse with a smile! (you have a mandate) you have a mandate (two man orgasmic climax using harmonica and synth knobs)
4.
Domestic Utopia 03:51
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I leave the shower Steam softens the chill There was hot water And no water bill Look at the handrail Suppress joyful howl For lying in wait there Is a fresh clean towel Oh joy! Oh rapture! Domestic utopia I think I finally understand The joy in simplicity My life is absolutely grand I choose a cereal I take all morning So many to choose from And none are boring Fetch a cup of tea It's rubbish night tonight Somehow it's out already And it didn't cause a fight Oh joy! Oh rapture! Domestic utopia I think I finally understand The joy in simplicity My life is absolutely grand (sung as a round:) Fetch a cup of tea! And life is grand! There's a warm blue towel! Soft in your hand! Tonight, I will go home And dream of all of this Alone in my squalor I crave domestic bliss One day I'll capture Domestic utopia
5.
Postal Aid Package From Mum 04:31
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Postal aid package from Mum Glorified cleansed memories from passed time, victoriously escaped from three weeks ago Forget about rent and food and phone and power and girls and cleaning and bus timetables and job seeking Roll up, starving children! One night only! Starry-eyed sentiment! Affection! I sit on my already stained couch and remember No trade-off between lunch and bus fare and the prospect of going out this weekend No no lift home at Desperate 12:30 AM and the people I was chatting to to get a lift home from tell me they live nowhere near. Look: there’s some tea in there. Earl grey, but I’ll take what I’m given. No aimless wandering around Fremantle because Centrelink stuffed up my payment and I spent my last dollar to get to their office and now I can’t get home. A car that I can borrow. Look at that little box of stuff: how’d she manage to pack a whole security blanket into one post-it pack? Postal aid package from Mum There’s even a letter. She cared enough to put a letter in. An ironic smile full of self-pity sneaks onto my face. The soft paper is folded in two halves like outstretched arms telling me to remember cuddling up to Mum on the sofa as a kid more than just verbal contact with the person who wants me to succeed most and thinks that I can. She put in a photo. I touch it. More tactile than any human contact I’ve had since I moved over here. I put the note next to my answering machine so I can notice it when I notice the lack of messages. She rings sometimes but I need to get a call from someone in the Perth metropolitan area. More than once a week. I can’t afford a frame so I rest the photo in between the ugly old phone and my broken ceramic lamp. Postal aid package from Mum “$50 is for a hair cut and coffee or even something more fun” Maybe I’ll fix the television aerial. Make it snow less inside. I’ll use it this weekend to go out and strike up conversations with complete strangers/new friends Out of lack of choice I’m an optimist so I choose to believe the latter It was unwise to not move into a share house with people but I’ll find a job soon. Remember it’s a city: there’s lots of opportunities for able bodied, young, fit, clever people in the city $50 is a lottery’s worth. How did she get it? There’s some canned food. Should do me a few more nights, three days until dole day. Some chocolate too. I wish I could share it. Chocolate is no good unless you share it. A hug? I reach over to grab it to eat it to make myself feel better but knock over and break the third cheap glass of a box of six.
6.
Broken Toys 02:55
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I don't know why I always break my toys. It's not like I can afford to replace them.
7.
One Size Fits Most 04:17
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Everyone I know lives in large, well kept houses. I never thought I'd want that kind of security. I never thought I'd want to join my trapped high school mates, working to keep a roof over my head and feed my family. If anyone who lives around me hears this tune, please hum it, get it stuck in your head to remind you every minute of how much I hate you. One size fits most. One size fits most. Working in the hope that the kids will not be working in the hope that the kids will not be working in the hope that the kids will not be working to work to work to work to work to work... I hate the people who live in this block of units. I don't like their sounds, their rapist conman lifestyles. And yet, I find myself trapped in conversations with them as if I belong here, like I'm one of them! If anyone who lives around me hears this tune, please hum it, get it stuck in your head to remind you every minute of how much I hate you. One size fits most. One size fits most.
8.
Old People Like To Fuck 02:14
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I feel like an old playcat I'm gonna get me some of that I feel like a million fucks Late at night, I'll sneak out Find some girl to sort me out With around a million fucks You might find it sick but it's quite true Old people like to fuck, just like you 'Cos old people like it too I think I've still got the charm I've got the girls in the nursing home Giving me about a million fucks Listen man, don't feel so glum Check out what Viagra's done It gives me a million fucks You might find it sick but it's quite true Old people like to fuck, just like you 'Cos old people like it too You might find it sick but it's quite true Old people like to fuck, just like you 'Cos old people like it too
9.
Loudspeeka (Album Mix) 02:37
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LOUDSPEEKA sends an ear bomb as a covert saw synth stab happy sunny sound suckers steal any beat/bass candy they can grab if they're gonna blow their ears at least the caning will come from this DJ back at home they find their drone-laced lollies mean they can't hear each other say "Awwww, we wanted that last tune to crystalise a never ending hoedown..." LOUDSPEEKA sends an ear bomb as a covert saw synth stab happy sunny sound suckers steal any beat/bass candy they can grab if they're gonna blow their ears at least the caning will come from this DJ "...instead our ears bleed tension in a one note whine drone breakdown..." Booty shake that booty shake that booty booty booty cutie cutie (x3) can you handle it can you handle it now? BASS thru ya TWEETA GULP by tha LITRE there ain't no sound SWEETA than from this loudSPEEKA at the end of the night you leave tha DANCEFLOOR you've caned yo'self but ya still want MORE sudden realization as you get to tha DOOR that yo' earz iz buzzin' coz da lobez iz SORE PERMANENT DAMAGE this you know iz tru YOU CAN'T HEAR SHIT when I talk 2 u I tried to tell u but i can't get thru won't be able ta sleep when u go 2 bed all da WHEEEE WHEEEE WHEEEE fukkin' wid' yo head addin' to da feelin' that you wish you woz dead SHOULDA GONE 2 DA MOVIEZ INSTEAD!!! Bleeding the tension Bleeding the tension Bleeding the tension Bleeding the tension Bleeding the tension Bleeding the tension" Booty shake that booty shake that booty booty booty cutie cutie (x3) can you handle it can you handle it now?
10.
Big Night Out In Rockingham (Album Mix) 07:24
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We sit in my lounge room. 9PM. Friday night. Bored as fuck. There’s nothing going on. “Where we gonna go?” “Out.” We stand up, head to the cars. The merits of each club are debated. This one’s sleazy This one’s rap This one’s tacky And that’s just crap I think seriously on the possibility of dancing at 2AM to bootylicious, undulating, dry rooting R&B... I stop thinking. The general consensus is that “tacky” is the best of our four options. Plus we know the promotions guy there, so we might be able to scab ourselves some free drinks. We crank up the car stereo and wank our way there. On arrival at the club we are greeted by a smiling bouncer who remembers us. Oh shit. We’re regulars. I’ve never been so embarrassed. I look around. While I’m here, I may as well get me some sex... Having spent the entire night in the pursuit of sexual gratification, it is somewhat disappointing to find my only offer is from a woman named Angie, who is aged at a youthful 42. “Fuck that for a joke.” I wish I wouldn’t take myself so literally. Nobody ever laughs anyway. Half way home I call Angie a taxi on my mobile and dump her at the shopping centre. The very thought of what could have occurred sends chills up my spine. As I drive away, she screams horrible insults at me and I think of immature comebacks I’ll never use. I get home and wander what happened to my friends. Probably fucking. Fuckwits. I open the door and switch on the light. It doesn’t come on, and the others behave in pretty much the same way. It’s almost as if a thief has come into the house and taken only the light bulbs. My body, without consulting me, decides that seeing as though I’m tired, I may as well sleep on the floor. I arrive there with a THUD. I wake up at dawn with the sun shining through the flyscreen and right into my eyes. There’s a puddle of saliva sticking my face to the floorboards. I stand up and head for bed.

about

My first album, recorded both solo and in the home studios of various collaborators (Roly Skender, Lo-Key Fu, Mark Kingston, Shane Adamczak and an unreleased track with Audio Cephlon) in 2006.

My songwriting at the time was torn between a kind of housebound suburban paranoia at one end and a juvenile sense of humour. The ten tracks combine electronic music, pop songs and spoken word for an eclectic, unpredictable ride that's nonetheless still best taken as a whole album.

There is a super secret bonus track included if you purchase the entire album.

For more information, blog, video and facebook/twitter/myspace links, head to www.tomasford.com

credits

released May 27, 2006

All tracks © tomás ford 2006.
Recorded and mixed entirely by Ford at home, except... 2. WHITE HAZE (Ford), 2006. Guitar sampled from playing by Mark Kingston. Additional vocal recording and mixing completed at Sound Mine Studios by Tomás Ford and Lee Buddle. 3. LETTERS OF COMPLAINT (Ford/Kingston) & 4. DOMESTIC UTOPIA (Ford/Kingston) Recorded, mixed,
mastered & co-Produced by Ford, Mark Kingston, Leon Ewing & Rob Grant at Home and at Poonshead, Australia. 5. POSTAL AID PACKAGE FROM MUM (Ford) Bass performed and recorded by Shane Adamczak on his 4-track. 9. LOUDSPEEKA (Ford/Hotrod) Recorded and Remixed by Josh McAulilffe and Ford around an original demo by ford. 10. BIG NIGHT OUT IN ROCKINGHAM (Ford) drum loops and additional mixing by lo-key fu. 1, 6, 7 & 8 are all written by (Ford) by the way. Album mastered by Adrian Sardi at The Vault. Spastic photoshop cd artwork by Tomás Ford. Special limited edition artwork with the fabric and cool shit by Liz Ford with assistance from Eleesha, Joe and obviously Tomás’ sorry arse. Why are we still in the
third person when i’ve established that it is/was me doing the cover art? Cover self portrait by Tomás Ford. Photos here & on the back of the cd by Finbar Walsh. Interior sleeve photo by eleesha ford.

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Tomás Ford Perth, Australia

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